Meet Your Newest Misfit: KELVIN BENJAMIN

Woah. At the 11th hour on the 11th day, the Headmaster of The School of GM Witchcraft and Wizardry, Brandon Beane swung a trade for a player that could completely open up the offense for Tyrod and McCoy: 6’5″ mammoth and ex-rolli polli olli impersonator, Kelvin Benjamin.

First off, WOW. For all the receivers we heard were on the trading block for the past week, including the like of Donte Moncrief, T.Y. Hilton, Jarvis Landry, and Terrell Pryor, nobody saw this one coming. Especially after at 3:30 today Brandon Beane told reporters that even though he would still listen to offers, there was nothing in the works. But 27 minutes later, at 3:57pm, the trade was called in to the league office and finalized. Talk about last second.

So what will he bring to this offense? Honestly, he could be a MASSIVE difference maker, no pun intended. At 6’5″, he’s a mammoth for the WR position. His wingspan is insane, and he’s got hands to boot. He’s a vertical and red zone threat out of this world, and the vertical part is what makes this trade so huge for Taylor and this offense. Because guess what’s Taylor’s best attribute? Throwing the deep ball. And if you throw it within the same zip code as Benjamin, he can get over just about DB and get it. This move could really change the game for this offense, and if he and Taylor develop some chemistry tossing it deep, this run game could become deadlier than it ever has been. Defenses will no longer be able to stack 8 in the box, and could make this offense a dangerous one.

So what could the astronomical price for such a great weapon be, you might ask? A 2018 3rd and a 2018 7th. Earlier this year, Beane traded CB Ronald Darby to the Eagles for a 3rd and Jordan Matthews, as well as dealing Cardale Jones to San Diego for a 7th. Beane essentially gave up Darby and Cardale for a WR2 in Jordan Matthews and WR1 in Kelvin Benjamin. Talk about scoring a serious treat on Halloween. Can I order a large process with a side of process?